By Thulasi Muthulingam
Just like across the rest of the world, people in Jaffna are having less and less children now.
The maximum in most families is two; many opt to stop at one, and some don't have any at all.
I am not questioning their judgement - in this economic crisis, people can't afford to have more children.
At the Jaffna Artists Group. we are just concerned about the wellbeing of the children in this fairly new dynamic.
There are no siblings or enough neighbourhood children for the children to play with.
Helicopter parenting anywhere is a disaster but just imagine what the average Jaffna parent helicopter-parenting a single child would look like?
I can already see the results in my Gen Z adult students - who grew up with at least one other sibling often.
Glazed eyes.
Can't think for themselves.
Need to be told and guided on what to do every step of the way. Extremely spoilt and emotionally immature often too.
One good thing - Jaffna parents are no longer beating them black and blue.
The bad thing - they swung the pendulum of child care all the way to the other side and pampered them rotten.
The results are insecurity and emotional immaturity unless they are the centre of attention - even as adults.
Kids still hear the word 'NO' though!
Even the doting Jaffna parent has no problem saying that word still.
Only not in the way it matters.
"No, you can't go play."
"No, you can't sleep in, you have to wake up at the crack of dawn to study."
"No, you can't opt out of several tuition classes a day back to back on top of school because you are tired."
"No, you can't watch TV or read books for entertainment."
You can play around with the ipad from early childhood and fry your brains unsupervised though.
Study, study, study.
I often feel sad to see the long lines of Jaffna parents parked outside tuition centres on their motorbikes - waiting to ferry their precious offspring to the next class as soon as one ends.
So much care, time and money spent - and at the end of it, the poor children are braindead and unable to think or do anything for themselves.
This is why one of Jaffna Artist Forum's founder members, Dr Thevanayagam Thevananth came up with Children's drama nights every Saturday. To spark the children's creativity and joy as well as give them time to play, socialize and enjoy themselves.
He has a great team of social workers, entertainers and child care professionals to deliver stellar shows each Saturday.
We enjoy them even as adults.
I often sit there as an adult, feeling jealous of the children and what they get to do and grow, that I did not have such an opportunity when I was growing up.
It's a rare lifetime opportunity. Tickets are priced at Rs.200 to keep it affordable for families while covering performers' costs too.
Yet many families do not avail themselves of the opportunity regularly.
Parents report back that the children love the theatre nights and keep begging to come back every Saturday - but they said no because they have to study. They have to go to tuition.
Every single day of the week, every single hour of spare time.
Playtime and entertainment is considered frivolous - and can be indulged as an occasional treat but won't be tolerated every week - even if it's just once a week.
I've tried talking to parents; all of whom are educated working professionals, that 21st century life and employment skills require creative thinking, team work, good socialization skills, decison making skills, emotional maturity and intelligence - none of which the current systems of tuitions and rote learning provide - but they are not willing to listen.
Changing a culture and ingrained perceptions is not easy.
Yet we try.
If you read to the end, I have only one request for you. If you have - or know of - children living in Jaffna, you have any influence over - do encourage them to attend Saturday Children's drama nights every week.
They will thank you as adults.
Heck, they will thank you even as children.
This is something our society vitally needs - even though it hasn't realized it yet.
Please and thank you.
Link :
<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fthulasi.muttulingam%2Fposts%2Fpfbid02LW13dR4ZbpSvSQEb3wnLzsX7ccVUjKrPcpxGtdS5iYUBVzxxH6Me2PQ3RqncTtEBl&show_text=true&width=500" width="500" height="392" style="border:none;overflow:hidden" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share"></iframe>
No comments:
Post a Comment